Becoming the Parent You Never Had

"Brewing Love: Becoming the Parent You Never Had, One Cup at a Time"

"We are the source of the love we have always deserved, nurturing our Inner Child with compassion and grace."

Becoming the Loving Parent You Never Had

Life often brings us lessons in unexpected ways, and one of the most profound is the realisation that we must become the loving parents we never had. For many of us, the journey of healing and self-discovery begins with the understanding that we can offer ourselves the love, guidance, and support that may have been absent in our childhood. The Inner Child within us still yearns for this nurturing presence, a steady hand, a gentle voice, a source of unconditional love and understanding.

Nurturing the Inner Child

Becoming the parent you never had means stepping into a role of deep compassion and understanding for yourself. It’s about recognising those moments when your Inner Child creates feelings of loss, fear, or inadequacy and stepping in with kindness rather than criticising, comparing or being judgemental (CCJ); instead, you become the comforting presence that says, “I see you. I hear you. I am here for you.” This act of self-parenting is not about blame or regret for what was missing in the past but about empowering yourself to provide what is needed now.

Think of it as a sacred responsibility to nurture and protect the most tender, loving parts of yourself. The Inner Child within you may have spent years seeking validation and love from the outside world, never knowing that the most significant source of love lies within. By becoming your loving parent, you create a safe space where your Inner Child can thrive, its fears can be soothed, and its dreams can be supported.

Setting Healthy Boundaries and Celebrating Yourself

Being your parent also means setting healthy boundaries, encouraging yourself to take risks, and celebrating your successes, no matter how small. It means understanding the root of your emotions without allowing them to overwhelm you and choosing to discover the beliefs and thoughts that align with your highest values and desires. You become both the nurturer and the guide, reminding your Inner Child, “You are safe, you are loved, and you are capable of creating a beautiful life.”

This journey of self-parenting can be challenging. It requires patience and practice. It asks you to face the unresolved issues of the past with courage and to fill them with the love you now know you deserve. But with each step, you reclaim a part of yourself that was lost or hidden, and you build a foundation of inner strength that can weather any storm.

Remember, offering yourself the care you need is never too late. Speak to your Inner Child kindly, soothe and resolve its fears, and uplift its dreams. Embrace the role of the loving parent and know that you have the power to provide the nurturing presence you may have longed for.

Affirm: “I am the loving parent I always needed. I offer unconditional love, guidance, and support, nurturing my Inner Child with compassion and understanding.”

Honouring Your Inner Child: A Path to Self-Love

This is the essence of self-love and self-respect: to be the parent you never had is to honour your unique journey, validate your experiences, and affirm that you are whole, worthy, and deserving of all the love you give to yourself. Imagine offering your Inner Child the same compassion and understanding as you would to a physical child. I call this the ‘Shen Test’. You would want your child to grow free from the limitations and restraints you once faced, wouldn’t you? You would protect them, uplift them, and ensure they know they are loved. In the same way, extend this love to your Inner Child and release it from the burdens of past conditioning and the old expectations that have kept it small and afraid.

Nurture that part of you with kindness. Offer it the freedom to explore, to make mistakes, and to grow without judgment. When you honour your Inner Child, you break the cycle of limitation. You become the parent that encourages dreams, embraces imperfections, and believes in endless possibilities. This is how you cultivate self-love and self-respect—by giving yourself the very things you deserved then and still deserve now. You are worthy of this care, this freedom, and this deep, unwavering love.

We can discuss self-love more deeply in our next journal.

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The Wonderful World of Chinese Tea: A Journey of Wellness

The story of Chinese tea is not simply one of flavour and aroma. It is a tale of wisdom passed down through centuries, a ritual woven into the essence of well-being. Imagine stepping into a serene landscape where time slows, and each cup of tea invites you to connect, reflect, and be nurtured. This is the essence of Chinese tea, a gentle journey that holds the power to heal and transform.

The Origins of Tea: Nature's Devotion

The tea tradition begins in a village nestled among misty hills, where the mornings are painted with dew and birdsong. Generations of tea farmers have cultivated leaves with care, each step an act of devotion to nature’s rhythm. The leaves are plucked at the right moment, infused with the earth's energy, and prepared to share their story. And when these leaves meet hot water, they dance—a dance that releases more than just flavours but a connection to nature's flow.

The Wellness Within Each Cup

Sipping on Chinese tea is like embracing an old friend who holds the secrets of wellness within them. With every cup, we invite the richness of antioxidants to nourish us, likewise, protectors that guard against the wear of time. These antioxidants, especially in green and black teas, work quietly to shield our cells, warding off the effects of stress and restoring balance. Drinking tea becomes an offering of love to our body, a gesture of care that echoes through our very being, reassuring us about our well-being.

Finding Balance and Gentle Wisdom

The magic of Chinese tea goes beyond its health benefits. It is also a way of harmonising with life’s flow, promoting mindfulness and balance. Picture yourself on a busy day, the world swirling around in a blur of tasks and responsibilities. At that moment, you pause, take a deep breath, and pour yourself a cup of oolong tea. As you watch the steam rise, you feel the tension ease.  With its warmth and subtle fragrance, the tea offers a reminder: just as the leaves unfurl in hot water, we too can soften and open, letting go of what weighs us down.

In its gentle wisdom, tea knows how to meet us where we are. When our hearts need comfort, jasmine green tea—with its floral notes—wraps us in a soothing embrace. When we seek clarity, the blend of caffeine and L-theanine in tea sharpens our focus, but never too sharply—it is the clarity of a calm pond, not the intensity of a blazing fire. The balance of energy that tea offers guides us to approach life with alertness yet without anxiety, much like the tranquillity of a Sage who moves effortlessly with the current of life.

A Ritual of Connection

As we journey deeper into the world of Chinese tea, we find that it offers moments of quiet reflection and serves as a bridge to connection with others and with ourselves. Preparing tea becomes a meditation, an invitation to be present. Each movement, from pouring water to holding the cup, encourages us to slow down and savour the moment. In sharing tea with friends or loved ones, we extend this sense of presence to others, creating a space of genuine connection, free from the need for words or explanations.

Vitality and Spirit

The ancients believed Chinese tea could bolster our vitality, nurturing the body and spirit. With every sip, an alchemy happens, a merging of the essence of the earth with our energy. The warmth of the tea spreads through us, bringing a sense of wholeness, of being deeply connected to something greater. It’s as though, in that moment, we become part of the vast and timeless dance of life, effortlessly flowing with the rhythms of nature, feeling rejuvenated and revitalised.

One Cup at a Time

So, the next time you hold a cup of Chinese tea, remember it is more than just a drink. It is a story that has travelled across generations, a practice that nurtures both body and spirit. Let each sip be a gentle reminder of the power of simplicity, the beauty of presence, and the deep spiritual wellness that lies within. Embrace this ancient ritual and allow it to guide you to a space of balance, harmony, and quiet joy—one cup at a time.

This week, in the paid subscriber Inner Circle, we will be continuing our deeper dive into the I Ching with the second part of the series; here’s a snippet:

Consulting the I Ching

In our previous journal, we delved into the essence and history of the I Ching. Now, in the second part of this series, we embark on a more profound journey into how to consult and use this ancient wisdom. While the I Ching may seem complex at first glance, its beauty lies in its simplicity when we approach it with an open mind and spirit. A subtle shift in understanding the importance of asking the question, often overlooked in the West, allows us to unlock more profound insights. This gentle adjustment opens a doorway to a deeper connection with the I Ching, where its timeless guidance resonates with the essence of our Shen spirit.

There is also an original meditation, my private photograph of one of the most sacred places in the Wu Dang Mountain temple complex, and more exciting teachings… I hope to see you over there!

Moments Of Inspiration…

"Even in the face of life's fiercest storms, we shall not doubt our love for our Inner Child. For within us lies a radiant wellspring of wisdom, untouched by the chaos around us. We are creators of our destiny, not victims of circumstance. With each challenge, we nurture the child within, embracing every moment as an opportunity to grow, love, and thrive in harmony with the Tao."

Next Week…

The Power of Self-Love

Breaking free from the chains of approval

Journal #F001 21/10/2024