Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage
In this week's Journal …: Remember, you are not broken—just beautifully rediscovering the radiant wholeness within, gently guided by compassion, courage, and the quiet wisdom of your Shen.
“Pause gently, knowing you are not broken but simply journeying back to your natural wholeness. Lean inward with compassion and curiosity to rediscover the quiet strength guiding you. Let this story illuminate your path toward peace and authentic self-discovery.”
Embracing Your True Self
Have you ever been stuck, striving earnestly yet repeatedly returning to familiar doubts or hesitations? This dance between aspiration and retreat, between hopefulness and self-sabotage, resonates deeply with many of us. Yet, hidden within this struggle is a gentle wisdom that, when fully embraced, can lead us back to clarity, confidence, and inner harmony.
It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the haunting whisper that something within us is broken, that we need fixing, mending, or repair. But this belief, though deeply ingrained, is not our truth. The truth is far more compassionate and empowering: we are not inherently broken. We are inherently whole.
Each of us carries a natural, radiant worth, not earned through achievements or diminished by past pain but woven into the very essence of our being. This is not a promise to be earned or a status to be proven. It is our birthright. We are born with innate value, carved into the rhythm of the Tao itself. That deep well of worth is not missing; it is merely hidden beneath layers of misunderstanding, fear, and outdated beliefs that no longer serve us.
Rather than a flaw, we often interpret brokenness as the echo of a belief we've carried for too long, a mistaken story etched in the soft clay of our early experiences. This echo speaks in the familiar voice of our Inner Child, who, in its innocence, tries to make sense of uncertainty, rejection, or unfulfilled longing. It is not malicious, just mistaken. It believes protection comes through self-blame and survival through self-denial.
But there is another quieter, more profound, and far more perceptive voice. It does not shout for attention but waits patiently in the stillness. This voice belongs to our Shen spirit, our eternal essence, whispering long-forgotten truths yet instantly recognisable. It does not accuse or demand; it reminds.
You may call this your intuition or your inner knowing, that sacred internal compass that does not need validation to be true. This voice is not one we must invent; it is one we must remember. It is always present, flowing with the quiet certainty of the Tao, offering guidance not through control but resonance.
To hear it, we must become still. We must choose to turn down the volume of fear and turn toward trust. We must learn to differentiate the Inner Child's frightened cries from our Shen's calm assurance; both deserve our attention, but only one reflects our true nature.
This inner knowing is not an extraordinary gift granted to a few; it is an inherent part of us all. The Tao moves through us, our natural rhythm, effortless wisdom, and wu wei. And as we reconnect with it, we remember we are not lost, only momentarily distracted; not broken, only misinformed; not incomplete, but whole beyond measure.
In learning to trust this deeper voice, we no longer chase worthiness; we realise it has never left us. Our intuition, Shen, and knowing all echo the same truth: we were never anything less than whole.
We begin to recognise this truth when we turn inward with compassion and curiosity. Returning to our natural harmony does not start with fixing something wrong but with uncovering what has always been right. The path is not about repair; it is about rediscovery. It begins with gently listening to the voice within — the voice of our Inner Child — not to silence it, but to understand what it is trying to protect and why it ever believed we were less than whole in the first place.
Let us pause here and remember: our authentic essence is not brokenness cloaked in shame but completeness awaiting remembrance. We are whole, worthy, and always have been.
Listening Deeply to Our Inner Child with Compassion
Since childhood, our Inner Child has absorbed stories shaped by life experiences, unmet expectations, and unresolved emotional issues. Perhaps love and acceptance seemed conditional, achievable only through perfection, success, or external approval. Over time, these internalised beliefs have quietly convinced us that our authentic selves are somehow insufficient, creating lingering doubts that hold us back from joy and fulfilment.
Yet, our Inner Child is not an adversary. Visualise it as a younger, vulnerable version of ourselves seeking safety and understanding. Imagine this child tightly holding onto familiar yet limiting narratives, repeating protective messages like, "You'll fail," or "You're not worthy," not out of spite but out of fear of experiencing hurt again. Beneath these surface fears lies a more profound truth: our intrinsic worth, known in wu wei’s wisdom as our Shen, a radiant presence patiently awaiting our acknowledgement and loving acceptance. Affirm: “Past beliefs or experiences do not define me. I am inherently worthy of love, acceptance, and happiness.”
When we recognise the behaviours influenced by these hidden beliefs, the opportunities we avoid, relationships we prematurely end, or dreams we dismiss, we realise they are not intentional acts of self-harm but unconscious self-preservation strategies. Healing arises not from criticising or rejecting these parts of ourselves but from embracing our Inner Child with understanding and compassion, gently guiding it toward trust and authentic self-love.
The Transformative Power of Radical Truthfulness
Engaging honestly with ourselves may initially seem daunting or uncomfortable. Yet, it is precisely this radical honesty that serves as the starting point for true freedom. By becoming accountable for our beliefs and emotions and exploring their origins with kindness, we align ourselves with the transformative teachings of Wu Wei Wisdom. This gentle self-inquiry helps us reconnect with our genuine nature, restoring clarity and peace to our lives. The Tao Te Ching profoundly states: "If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place."
We initiate insightful inner dialogues when we compassionately question our emotional reactions and those intense, red-light feelings. Rather than reacting automatically with frustration or anxiety, we pause and gently inquire, "Why am I choosing this feeling?" This empowering question shifts our perspective from one of victimhood to that of a creator, enabling us to trace our emotions back to their foundational beliefs.
By courageously asking, "Is this belief genuinely true?" we often discover that many of the stories we tell ourselves stem from outdated fears rather than present realities. Recognising this truth is profoundly liberating. As we continue this compassionate dialogue, we naturally move beyond limiting patterns and fully step into our authentic selves.
Transforming Our Inner Dialogue: A Gentle Revolution
Our internal conversations shape our reality more profoundly than we often realise. If our Inner Child has fallen into the trap of criticism, it needs patient guidance toward kindness. Simple yet consistent shifts in self-talk can significantly transform entrenched beliefs, reshaping our self-perception and engagement with the world.
In my experience working with clients, I often find that they criticise, judge, and compare themselves far more harshly than anyone else. This self-inflicted scrutiny creates a cycle of emotional turbulence, reinforcing a belief system rooted in unworthiness. This pattern is CCJ (Criticising, Comparing, and being Judgmental.)
Ask yourself: “How critical are you of yourself? Do you measure yourself against others only to find yourself lacking? Do you pass harsh judgments on your choices, past, or future potential?” This habitual self-condemnation is not an inherent truth but a learned response, often ingrained in childhood when we internalised the voices of authority figures, societal standards, and unrealistic expectations.
Taoism teaches that transformation begins with awareness. When we recognise the voice of CCJ within, we create an opportunity to guide our Inner Child toward a gentler, more truthful dialogue. Instead of self-reproach, we can choose self-inquiry: “Why do I believe I must be perfect? What do I gain from comparing myself to others? Is this judgment leading me to growth or keeping me trapped in fear?”
As we soften our inner dialogue, we align with the effortless flow of wu wei. We do not need to force self-love or perfection; we only need to step away from the harshness of CCJ and into the spaciousness of acceptance. With each moment of kindness, each pause before self-criticism, and each shift toward self-compassion, we reshape how we experience ourselves and the world.
Imagine replacing thoughts like, "I always mess things up," with gentle affirmations such as, "Every step I take is meaningful progress." Or shifting from "I'm not good enough" to "I am exactly enough, just as I am." These small yet powerful changes gently reshape our Inner Child's worldview, nurturing confidence and self-belief.
Words carry profound energy. Healing for our Inner Child does not come through harshness but through nurturing kindness and patience. By consistently encouraging ourselves, we gradually rewrite our internal narrative, moving from self-doubt to authentic self-belief. However, the words we use must be more than hopeful phrases; they must be rooted in truth, honesty, and integrity, what we call radical truthfulness.
If we do not fully believe the affirmations we speak, they become empty echoes rather than powerful forces of transformation. This is why we must ask ourselves: “Why do I struggle to believe I am good enough? Why do I doubt my worth or my value?” If an affirmation is untrue, it is not a failure but an invitation to go deeper. Through the Golden Thread Process, we can trace these doubts back to their origins, uncovering the childhood beliefs and experiences that shaped them.
True healing does not come from forcing ourselves to say things we do not believe but from uncovering why we cannot connect to our radical truth in the first place. This is profound spirituality, our inner work. When we align our words with what we know to be accurate, our self-talk transforms from mere repetition into a bridge that reconnects us with our authentic selves. In this way, each word we speak to ourselves becomes an act of integrity, leading us toward self-acceptance, confidence, and inner peace.
Living with Integrity and Unwavering Trustworthiness
Wu wei’s wisdom inspires us to embody trustworthiness by aligning our lives with truth, honesty, and integrity. Imagine yourself as a resilient tree, deeply rooted in the earth, steady and dependable through all life's storms. Such unwavering steadiness harmonises our inner world and radiates peace outwardly, offering stability and comfort to others.
Committing to radical truthfulness aligns our decisions and actions with our core values. When faced with challenging situations, we can ask ourselves gently, "Does this choice truly reflect who I genuinely am?" Living authentically is not about striving for perfection but consistently honouring our intrinsic worth, our Shen, in every moment. Affirm: “I consciously choose integrity and trustworthiness, aligning each action with my deepest truths.”
Flowing Effortlessly with the Tao
Wu wei, the Taoist principle of effortless effort, encourages us to flow naturally with life rather than resisting or forcing outcomes. When we stop battling against reality, gentle strength and tranquillity naturally arise. Effortless harmony emerges as we lovingly end internal struggles, embracing truth and clarity with compassion. The Tao Te Ching beautifully illustrates this: "Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. Yet water wears away rock, rigid and unyielding. Softness triumphs through persistent gentleness."
Like water, when we move gently and steadily through life, obstacles naturally yield, not through force but patient consistency. Our true strength lies in adaptability, acceptance, and graceful perseverance, empowering us to navigate life's unfolding path easily.
Embarking on Your Transformative Journey
Breaking free from self-sabotage is a compassionate and gradual process. Each gentle step we take, confronting outdated beliefs with kindness, embracing radical truthfulness, and aligning our actions with integrity, deepens our connection to our true selves and leads us toward lasting harmony and fulfilment.
Begin today by pausing when you sense red-light emotions rising. Take a calming breath, place a reassuring hand on your heart, and gently ask yourself, "What belief is creating this feeling, and does this belief truly serve my highest self?"
Remember, you are your emotional landscape's creator, not its victim. Within you lies intrinsic worth, your Shen, radiantly shining, waiting for your recognition and care. By following your sincere path of honesty and integrity, you naturally align with the profound wisdom of the Tao.
Every moment presents an opportunity to transform, lovingly moving closer to your authentic self. Trust in the quiet yet powerful strength of compassionate self-awareness. Step by gentle step, reclaim your life from self-sabotage and confidently embrace your true nature. Affirm: “I am whole, continuously growing, and deeply loved. With each gentle step, I lovingly return to my true self.”
Finding Your Truth and Flow
Have you ever experienced life pulling you in countless directions, emotions swirling inside you, leaving you overwhelmed and uncertain? It's natural sometimes to ‘feel’ tossed about by life's storms, helpless and adrift. Yet, here's the gentle truth: You are not simply drifting; you are the captain of your ship. Those powerful emotions, anger, anxiety, and sadness, are not your masters. Instead, see them as valuable messengers, guiding you toward a deeper understanding of yourself and spiritual growth.
Imagine yourself standing amidst a bustling marketplace with voices clamouring for your attention. Each voice represents a belief or thought you've accumulated, some nagging by your Inner Child, others loudly proclaimed by society. Navigating this marketplace requires discernment: listening carefully to recognise which voice truly resonates with your authentic self and gently setting aside those rooted in past conditioning or external expectations.
When challenging emotions arise, our instinct might be to suppress, avoid, or reject them. However, a wiser, more compassionate approach involves meeting these emotions with openness and curiosity. Ask yourself gently and lovingly, "What is this emotion trying to show me?" or "What underlying belief fuels this feeling?" Through such reflective questions, we learn that our emotional experiences aren't random; they stem from our beliefs. Recognising this truth empowers us, helping us reclaim control and guiding us toward emotional mastery and inner peace.
Embracing Your Inner Diamond
The Tao Te Ching wisely states, "Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment." True wisdom starts within, with recognising our authentic selves. We possess an intrinsic worth known as Shen, our inner diamond, pure, radiant, and untouched by external judgments or life's missteps.
Our Inner Child instinctively knows this profound truth. Recall your younger self, full of wonder and fearlessness, trusting naturally in your inherent value, unquestioned, unearned, and known. But as we journey through life, that crystalline knowing often becomes clouded. Like a rabbit caught in the headlights, the Inner Child is dazzled and disoriented by the seductive glare of the material world. What others say. What they might think. The hollow applause of societal norms. We try to be superior, to please, to conform, to earn a place that was already ours at birth. These mirages pull us away from our centre, luring us into a treasure hunt for something we already hold within.
In its innocence, the Inner Child forgets and distrusts. It chases shadows and reflections, drawn into comparison, self-doubt, and a longing for validation. It begins to believe it must earn what was once considered its birthright. But Taoist wisdom whispers differently.
The purpose of Taoist teaching is to guide us gently back, not to a new truth, but to the ancient truth we already carry. This is the quiet work of wu wei, the art of effortless effort. We do not force remembrance; we allow it to happen. We do not demand worthiness; we recognise it. The Tao teaches us to return to what is truly ours, to the essence we were born with, to the knowing that needs no defence or explanation. We are not here to become something greater but to remember that we already are.
So, pause for a moment. Turn inward, away from the noise. Breathe profoundly and affirm: "I am inherently worthy, exactly as I am." Let this not be a mantra of becoming but a declaration of remembrance. With each word, we reawaken that buried knowing; we touch the brilliance within us that has never dimmed, only forgotten. We guide our Inner Child back, not with reprimand but compassion. We offer our hand and say, “You were never lost, only distracted.” In that stillness, the path reveals itself in that acceptance, not a line to follow but a natural rhythm to rejoin. This is the harmony of Tao. This is the return to your truth.
Reconnecting your Inner Child with your Shen is akin to gently polishing a precious gem. Every compassionate gesture and accepting thought toward yourself helps reveal your inner brilliance. To strengthen this connection, regularly set aside quiet moments to reflect and visualise yourself as that joyful, innocent child again. Experience your intrinsic value radiating from within. By nurturing this inner relationship, you transform your emotional landscape into a thriving garden of compassion, self-love, and profound acceptance.
Standing Firm in Your Truth
Living authentically requires courage, honesty, and unwavering integrity. Hexagram 61 of the I Ching, Inner Truth, profoundly teaches, "Truth and sincerity are the foundation of spiritual strength." Imagine yourself as a skilled dancer, moving gracefully through life's stages. Each challenge is like a new rhythm or melody, requiring you to adapt, pivot, and maintain your balance with elegance and poise. True resilience isn't about holding your ground rigidly; it's about confidently adjusting your steps, trusting your inner harmony, and expressing your authentic self through every movement. Even if you occasionally stumble, you find strength in your sincere commitment to keep dancing, knowing that each step taken in truth brings you closer to embracing your full potential.
Embracing accountability means being brave enough to gently question the beliefs we hold deep within: asking, "Why do I believe this?" “Is this belief truly mine, or did I borrow it from someone else?" Sometimes, it comes down to deciding what's more important, holding onto an old childhood belief that never served you well or choosing truth and freedom found in the unknown and uncertainty. Is staying truthful with yourself more valuable than clinging to beliefs that cause pain or confusion?
When you align yourself with honesty and sincerity, you anchor yourself firmly in the Tao, choosing harmony and balance. It's okay if you sometimes make mistakes; admitting them openly is powerful because mistakes help us grow. Flexibility doesn't mean weakness; you're strong enough to recognise when something isn't working and wise enough to change direction. Being sincere means trusting yourself enough to let go of old beliefs that limit you, knowing that your strength and confidence come from staying genuine, truthful, and adaptable on your life's journey.
As you build integrity, welcome your mistakes as valuable teachers rather than failure indicators. Each misstep offers a unique chance for growth and deeper self-awareness. True integrity involves aligning your actions and words with your innermost truths, creating harmony and peace within and around you. The more authentically you live, the more deeply you trust yourself and your path.
Flowing Effortlessly with Life
Wu wei, the Taoist teaching of effortless living, invites you to flow gently with the natural rhythm of life. Imagine being so comfortable in yourself that you don't have to struggle, push, or strive; you're simply in your flow. When you live naturally, trusting yourself completely, you discover that you already have everything you need and want deep within you. Your Shen, your actual value and worth, is your birthright, something you never have to earn or prove. When you embrace this balance and harmony, a quiet yet powerful strength awakens, guiding you through life's ups and downs with ease, clarity, and joy.
Picture a garden flourishing with diverse flowers, each blooming beautifully in its perfect timing. Likewise, when we embrace life's natural pace, we nurture ourselves lovingly and patiently, trusting in the inherent wisdom guiding our journey. We discover life's true beauty and abundance by aligning rather than forcing.
The Tao Te Ching wisely teaches, "The softest thing in the universe overcomes the hardest thing." True strength and effectiveness come from gentleness, patience, and adaptability. Practising wu wei helps us relinquish the exhausting desire to control, instead gently cooperating with life's rhythms. This gentle approach invites peace, joy, and profound fulfilment.
Wu wei is best practised in daily life through mindful presence. Move gently and intentionally instead of rushing through tasks or aggressively pushing toward goals. Allow your actions to arise naturally, giving room for life's wisdom to guide your steps. By living in harmony with life's flow, you experience greater ease, productivity, and satisfaction.
Living Daily in Gentle Harmony
Every day presents fresh opportunities to embody the wisdom of wu wei in practical, meaningful ways. Begin by regularly pausing to explore your emotions compassionately. When feelings surface, gently ask, "What belief lies behind this emotion?" Allow your curiosity and openness to shine a gentle, illuminating light on hidden beliefs, turning challenging moments into pathways of deeper understanding and emotional freedom.
Affirm daily: "I trust myself fully, knowing I am worthy and aligned with my deepest truth." Reinforce this trust by making honest, heartfelt choices each day. Integrity grows stronger with every small act of authenticity, guiding you steadily toward inner harmony and peace.
Dedicate time each day for quiet reflection or meditation, consciously setting intentions to move harmoniously with life's currents. Let kindness and compassion shape your interactions; knowing these qualities deepens your bond with yourself and those around you. Your consistent, loving actions create peace and positivity beyond your immediate environment.
Remember, meaningful transformation comes through gentle, consistent steps, not giant leaps. Your journey to emotional harmony and inner wisdom is a graceful dance rather than a hurried sprint. Allow your Inner Child to harmonise and align with you, embracing this truth lovingly, trusting in your intrinsic worth, and flowing gently with life’s currents. Each mindful step brings you closer to a life brimming with serenity, fulfilment, and deep alignment with your highest self.
Embrace this journey with joy, knowing every moment offers a beautiful opportunity to unlock greater wisdom, harmony, and lasting fulfilment. But here’s where the authentic teaching unfolds because while your Shen spirit already knows this truth, your Inner Child may hesitate. Like a traveller lost in a hall of mirrors, dazzled by distractions, it may resist what seems too good, simple, or unfamiliar. And so, we must convince it. Not through force, but through gentle presence. We must hold its hand when it trembles and ask, not demand, “What part of this truth do you not trust?” Listen without judgment. Honour its confusion, and then gently, patiently, invite it back to the path it once walked so freely, the path of knowing.
The Tao is not something we find; it is something we remember. The purpose of all Taoist wisdom is not to teach you something new but to return you to what you have always known. It is your birthright to live in alignment with the flow, to be guided by the effortless effort of wu wei, and to dwell in the serenity of your natural rhythm. The wisdom you seek has never left you. It rests quietly within you like a lantern waiting to be lit.
Here is our invitation, our call to sacred action: reclaim what is already yours. Listen deeply. Walk slowly. Speak gently to yourself. And when doubt knocks, answer not with resistance but with remembrance. You do not need to strive for wisdom; it has always been within you. The question is, will you choose to use it?
Choose today to trust the whisper of your Shen, to honour the wisdom that rises not from striving but from stillness and inner knowing. Take your Inner Child by the hand and walk with it back to truth, not tomorrow, not one day, but now. For now, it is always the perfect time to return home.
From Seeking to Seeing
The Path of Self-Love and Inner Truth
Have you ever found yourself constantly seeking approval, waiting for a kind word, a loving glance, or a nod of recognition, as though your worth depended on it? Have you ever bent your truth or dulled your light, hoping that others would finally see you, love you, and say, “Yes, you are enough?” If so, you are not alone.
Many of us have learned to live this way without realising it. We’ve been taught, subtly and persistently, that love is something to be earned and that our worth is conditional. In childhood, we may have discovered that being ‘good’, quiet, agreeable, and helpful was the safest route to affection or attention. Over time, this survival strategy became our identity. But what happens when that identity no longer serves us? What happens when the cost of seeking becomes too high?
In this journal, we escape the illusion that others can bestow our worth and return to the straightforward, powerful truth: We are already whole. Let us gently begin the journey from seeking to seeing, from approval to alignment, from longing to loving.
The Voice of the Inner Child
Deep within each of us is the Inner Child, shaped not only by joy and innocence but also by unmet needs, misunderstandings, and quiet sorrows. This Inner Child still whispers, “If I can just make them happy, they’ll love me,” or “If I don’t upset anyone, I’ll be safe.”
We do not blame or criticise this voice. We honour it because it speaks from when pleasing others may have been our only form of protection. But now, as adults, we have a choice. We can begin to re-parent this Inner Child with truth, honesty, and integrity. We can become the loving guide we always needed.
The Tao Te Ching reminds us, “Returning to the root is stillness; stillness is the way of nature.” In that stillness, we hear what the inner child truly needs: not external validation but internal assurance. We learn to pause and ask, “Why have I chosen to create this red-light feeling?” and “What belief have I carried since childhood that makes me think I am not enough?”
These questions form the Golden Thread Process, gently pulling us back to the root of our emotions. In this self-inquiry, we often discover the truth: the yearning we placed on others was always a reflection of our disconnection from Shen, our spiritual essence, the place of our true worth.
The Illusion of Worth as Currency
In our conditioned world, we view worth as a currency to be earned, granted, and traded. We try to earn it through productivity, perfection, and people-pleasing. And so begins the exhausting cycle, the ‘Carousel of Despair’, constantly spinning, always chasing approval that never quite arrives.
But Taoism teaches something radically different. It teaches that worth is not conditional. It is not given or taken. Shen is ever-present. Just as a mountain does not need validation to be magnificent, we do not need others to reflect our light to shine.
As I Ching’s Hexagram 61 teaches, “Inner truth creates communication and harmony.” When we live in this place, we no longer manipulate situations to be loved. We become the love. We speak our truth not to control but to connect. We stop waiting for others to change so we can be happy. We become the change.
Self-Love Is Not Selfishness
A subtle but powerful shift occurs when we redefine self-love not as indulgence but as alignment. It is not about prioritising ourselves at the expense of others. It is about honouring the truth that we have nothing authentic to give when we abandon ourselves.
Caring for others while neglecting our own needs is not a virtue. It is an imbalance. It creates silent resentment, red-light feelings, and an emotional depletion that no external validation can replenish. When we set boundaries, speak honestly, and communicate with clarity, we are not being unkind; we are aligning with our Shen. We say “yes” when we mean it, “no” when it is accurate, and “maybe” when we need time. This is how the Sage moves, in the way of wu wei, effortless effort.
When we drift away from the natural harmony of the Tao, something strange happens. In that absence, we try to fill the void with rules, roles, rehearsed kindness and moral posturing. But as Verse 18 of the Tao Te Ching reminds us, “When the great Tao is forgotten, kindness and morality arise. When wisdom and intelligence are born, the great pretence begins.” This is not an attack on compassion or wisdom but a gentle unveiling of what happens when our actions are no longer rooted in truth. When we lose touch with the flow of the Tao, our innate rhythm, we begin to strive, fabricate, and act out goodness instead of simply being it. We create systems and rituals, not because they are needed, but because we no longer trust ourselves to flow authentically. The Tao teaches us to unlearn this striving. It asks us to return, not to the shell of virtue, but to the source, not to the rituals of appearance, but to the reality of presence. Wu wei, the art of effortless effort, shows us how. In aligning with the Tao, goodness is no longer a costume we wear; it becomes the effortless fragrance of who we indeed are.
Seeing the Cycle, Choosing the Change
Often, in relationships, especially close ones, our old patterns rise through the guise of familiarity. Our Inner Child may panic when we ‘feel’ rejected, unheard, or unseen. We may lash out, withdraw, or overexplain our feelings. But what if, instead, we paused? What if we said to ourselves, “Something in me has been activated; I have pulled the trigger!” What belief has this stirred? What does my Inner Child think this means about our worth?”
We leave the ‘Carousel of Despair’ by choosing reflection over reaction. We create a new relating model, built not on sacrifice or silent resentment but on respect, honesty, and shared responsibility. We learn to speak our needs not as demands but as truths. This is how integrity takes root, not in confrontation but in clarity. As we adapt to this way of living and establish a new sense of familiarity, we no longer overfunction in our relationships. We stop carrying the emotional weight of others on our shoulders, believing it to be our role or responsibility. We allow others to face their lessons, not because we are distant or unkind, but because we have finally come to understand that enabling is not a form of love but a misunderstanding of love.
True love, which flows from Shen, begins with truth and integrity within ourselves. This is the self-love we speak of, not a surface-level affirmation or indulgence, but a profound, unwavering choice to honour ourselves first. This is not about loving yourself through your or others' suffering. It is about loving yourself enough to stop feeding suffering. It's about loving yourself so fully and truthfully that others get to witness and experience what it’s like to be with someone who is whole, balanced, and aligned.
When we cultivate this powerful emotion of love for ourselves, not as a false self but as a true spiritual essence, we take a step toward reconnecting with our Shen, our eternal light of value and truth. And when we are connected to this inner source, something beautiful happens. We move into our flow, into wu wei, effortless effort. Life no longer drags us behind or pushes us too fast. It flows with us like ripples gliding across still water, gentle yet powerful.
From this centred state, relationships soften. Communication becomes more honest. We no longer strive for integrity; it becomes our natural way of being. And so, from this sacred foundation of self-love and truth, we relate to others not from need or fear but from fullness and freedom of authenticity. When we truly learn to honour and cherish ourselves, not in selfishness, but in our spiritual essence. We become like a lantern lit from within; the light of love does not stop at the edges of our being; it radiates outward, gently illuminating those around us without demand or effort. When rooted in the fertile ground of self-acceptance, love flows through us like warmth from a flame; it does not ask to be returned, only to be expressed. In this expression, we do not lose love; we become its vessel. This is not sentimentality but a powerful spiritual truth: only by filling our cup with honesty, respect, and compassion can love overflow into our world with grace. When we align with the Tao, love ceases to be a transaction and transforms into a quiet, radiant presence, a gentle field that nourishes all who enter.
Returning to Shen: A Gentle Homecoming
As we do this work, bit by bit, breath by breath, we return to ourselves. We start to nourish our bodies with rest, movement, and food that supports us. We meditate, journal, or sit quietly beneath a tree. We allow red-light feelings to become our friend of awareness, not punish us. We choose to believe we are not victims of our emotions; we are their composers. “I am the creator of my emotional symphony. Each note is mine to shape.”
And then something shifts. We stop thinking of ourselves as victims, waiting to be rescued. We stop manipulating ourselves to fit into someone else’s expectations. We stop tolerating what dishonours us. And we begin to rise, not in rebellion, but in truth. This is the Tao in motion. This is what wu wei looks like: not passivity, but purposeful presence. A quiet confidence. A radiant knowing, a return to our authentic Shen centre.
Becoming the Mirror
Let us now stand together and affirm: “I do not need others to reflect my worth. I am the mirror. I honour my Shen by living in truth. I rise by caring for myself first to care for others truly. I love from fullness, not emptiness. I am the change.”
This is not an overnight transformation. It is a step-by-step, moment-by-moment return to the essence of who we truly are. Each time we notice a red-light feeling, pause before reacting, or speak our truth gently but firmly, we honour our Shen. Each time we say, “I am enough,” we re-parent our Inner Child. We return home each time we let go of seeking and begin seeing.
And what a beautiful homecoming that is. Let us continue together on this sacred path. We should not seek love but create it for ourselves and others. We should not chase worth like it’s something outside of us to win or prove, but remember that our worth has always been there, quietly waiting to be acknowledged. We are born with it. It is not earned through effort or sacrifice. It is not increased by the number of people we help or please. In truth, trying to fix others only takes us further away from our centre. When disconnected from ourselves, we can’t guide anyone, not even ourselves.
But when we begin to live in alignment with our Shen, when we stop trying to be what others want and instead show them what it looks like to be whole, something shifts. We don’t have to explain, prove, or convince. We become a living example of what it means to be in a flow state. In wu wei. Living not by fear or doubt but through effortless effort, guided by the quiet power of truth, honesty, and integrity.
This is the path, not grand gestures, but simple steps. Breath by breath. A daily return. It is a daily choice. To trust ourselves. To speak our truth. To honour our spirit. So let us walk together step by step, not towards something new, but back to a distant familiarity of who we have always been. Let us choose to stand in our truth, elevate our honesty, and place our integrity above all else, not as a performance but as a way of life. And let us affirm, with clarity and love: “I no longer search for worth; I remember it. I no longer disconnect from myself to fix others; I guide by living my truth. I walk into wu wei. Step by step. Breath by breath. Truthfully. Honestly. In alignment with who I am.”
********
Moments of Inspiration…
The Prison of the Familiar: A Gentle Escape into Freedom
Have you ever stayed somewhere too long, not because it brought you joy but because it was familiar? Have you walked the same path daily, even though your spirit longed for something new?
We all have. It’s easy to remain in the known, even when it no longer serves us. The familiar, after all, ‘feels’ safe. But what if that safety is an illusion? What if comfort, when rooted in fear, is not a sanctuary but a softly lit prison?
The Tao teaches that life is flow, and we are rivers, not rocks. Wu wei, the art of effortless effort, invites us to move like water, unafraid of curves, turns, or waterfalls. Yet, the Inner Child within us often clings to the known like a worn-out toy. It whispers, “Better the pain you know than the joy you’ve never tried.” It mistakes sameness for safety and change for danger.
But let us reimagine. What if the unfamiliar isn’t a monster hiding in the dark but a doorway into light? What if breaking out of the familiar isn’t the end but the beginning?
To grow, we must walk beyond the fence we built with “I can’t,” “I shouldn’t,” or “What if I fail?” Let us tear down that fence, not with force, but with curiosity. The Tao is waiting, not in what we know, but in what we’re brave enough to discover.
Affirm: “I step beyond the comfort of the known. I trust in the flow of life, embrace change with grace, and discover freedom in every new beginning.”
This week, let’s do one brave thing. Say yes to something uncertain. Try a new routine, speak a truth you’ve never said aloud, or dream a little bigger. The door is already open; the only key you need is trust.
The world is wider than the prison of the familiar. Come, let’s explore it together.
********
In the next ‘Inner Circle’ (Paid) Journal…
Returning to the Flow
The Courage to Speak Our Truth
The Diamond Within
Moments of Inspiration
In the next free Journal…
Shining from Within Reclaiming Our Shen
Letting Go of the Saviour Role
Born Worthy
Moments of Inspiration
Journal #F023 07/04/2025