The Power of Self-Love

Discovering Your Inner Source of Strength

"Your worth is an unwavering light within; embrace and accept, and let your true brilliance shine, needing no one's validation."

For many, self-love can feel like a distant dream, especially if we believe we have never truly experienced it. I often hear from clients, "I don’t know how to love myself," a sentiment that echoes the struggle many of us face. This gap between desire and practice is a common thread, reminding us that self-love is not an automatic gift but a cultivated emotional art, an evolving relationship with our Shen spirit. In this journal, we’ll look at ‘loving yourself’ as a practice that can be cultivated and nurtured, empowering you to take control of your emotional well-being.

Recognising Your Natural Capacity for Love

When I ask, “Do you have difficulty loving your children or partner?” the answer is often a resounding NO! The response flows effortlessly, filled with certainty and conviction. Many respond, “I don’t want them to suffer as I have.” This response reveals a deep and protective love, an instinctive desire to shield loved ones from pain. This insight serves as a reminder of our natural capacity for creating love. It reassures us that we all possess the ability to love deeply. But it also illuminates a profound truth: the difficulty is not in our capacity to create love but in our willingness to direct it inward.

It’s not that we cannot create love; instead, we have conditioned ourselves to believe that love is something external, a gift bestowed upon us by others, or a reward we must earn. We pour it abundantly into our family and relationships, hoping to nurture, protect, and uplift, expecting this love to be returned as if by some magical transaction. Yet, when it comes to ourselves, we often withhold that same compassion, as if we are unworthy of the love we so freely extend to others. Why can we give boundless love to those around us but falter in offering that same love to ourselves?

Cultivating Inner Acceptance

Embracing our capacity for self-love is an act of reclaiming our true nature. As we look inward and learn to be as gentle with ourselves as we are with others, we tap into a profound wellspring of kindness within us. This inner acceptance aligns us with the wisdom of the Tao, reminding us that self-love is not a luxury but a necessity. Just as the Tao flows freely and without reservation, so should our love flow through ourselves, nourishing our Shen spirit and grounding us in our unique value. "In acknowledging the love within, we become the creators of our joy, harmonising with the universe and reflecting its beauty in every breath."

We step into a more profound wisdom when we realise that love is not merely an external gift but a natural state, a powerful, personal, and profound expression of our Shen spirit. Wu wei wisdom teaches us that we are the creators of our emotions, shaping and guiding them with intention (Yi). Love, as a flow of energy, begins within us and naturally extends outward. By embracing this, we become conduits of love, allowing it to flow through us first and then radiate to others and the world.

This harmonious direction embodies the essence of the Tao, inviting us to move with the natural current of emotional energy rather than against it. By nurturing love within, we amplify its true essence, first connecting with our Shen, our intrinsic light, and then allowing it to radiate outward, an endless, boundless gift to all.

This generous sharing of love reflects your Shen spirituality: freely offered, without effort or expectation. By honouring this inexhaustible wellspring, we become gentle guides of love, releasing all restrictions, judgments, or conditions. In this way, we align ourselves with the principle of wu wei, moving effortlessly with our innate capacity to love. “In embracing this love within, we merge with the Tao, letting its infinite energy flow through us, touching and uplifting all it meets”.

Embracing Self-Love as a Journey

When we recognise ourselves as the creators of our emotions, we reclaim the power to nurture our Inner Child with the same care we give others. In doing so, we align with the Tao, understanding that love is as natural and essential as breathing. "I am the creator of my emotions; love is my birthright, flowing within me as a boundless expression of my essence."

In the state of wu wei, self-love blossoms like a gentle flower, arising naturally and effortlessly, nourished by the essence of our spirit. This pure alignment with our Shen enriches our capacity to love, letting our hearts flow like an unburdened river, creating a gentle harmony that starts within and extends outward to all. As we embrace this inner balance, our love becomes effortless, inviting the openness to the emotion of love with grace and flow, a beautiful dance of connection with ourselves, others, and the universe.

Giving others love while withholding it from ourselves is like pouring water into many cups from a well that we never replenish. Eventually, the well runs dry, leaving all the cups empty. But when we nourish the well within us, filling it with love, compassion, and care, it overflows effortlessly, filling every cup without strain. By directing this powerful, nurturing love inward, we allow our spirit to flourish, becoming a constant, abundant source of resilience and strength. This is the path to true healing from within, allowing us to share our love sustainably and boundlessly.

Loving yourself requires a simple yet profound shift in perspective. Imagine the same love you feel for your children or partner flowing through you with equal strength and sincerity. Consider what it might look like to treat yourself with the same gentleness and nurture your dreams as fiercely as you nurture theirs. The love you create is not finite; it does not diminish by being redirected through you. Instead, it expands, radiating outward from a place of self-respect and inner peace.

Learning to love ourselves requires viewing our emotions, experiences, and mistakes as teachers, not adversaries. When we accept ourselves as we are, without needing external validation or comparison (CCJ), we tap into our boundless potential, where acceptance flows as naturally as a river and as easily as breathing. This acceptance is a powerful tool that empowers us to take control of our self-love journey.

Loving ourselves also means embracing our Shen, the radiant inner essence, as a constant companion. In this relationship, we become both the nurturer and the one nurtured, honouring our Inner Child with compassion and patience. As we embrace this gentle yet profound self-love, we begin to see that it is not merely about indulgence but a commitment to wholeness and harmony.

This self-love journey calls us to accept our past, hold space for our growth, and trust in our inherent worthiness, just as we are. Self-acceptance is a profound key that unlocks a deep sense of relief and peace, allowing us to nurture ourselves fully and learn to dance in harmony with the universe's rhythms. "I am worthy of the same love I give, and in loving myself, I allow my spirit to blossom."

With a foundation of self-love, we build a resilient inner sanctuary where the nurturing power we extend to others flows just as freely within. In this sacred space, we align with the Tao, discovering that the love we give and are open to receiving is boundless. As we honour our Shen spirit and practice wu wei, we cultivate an effortless harmony that permeates every aspect of our lives.

Remember, the love we create within us becomes a radiant gift to the world, expanding beyond ourselves and inspiring those around us to embrace their authentic journey. By nurturing our Inner Child with the same gentleness we offer others, we blossom into our true potential, standing as both the nurturer and the nurtured. Let us walk this path with grace, celebrating the unique dance of love within and around us, for it is through loving ourselves fully that we find the peace and purpose that illuminates the entire universe.

Breaking Free from the Chains of Approval

The desire for approval can feel like a chain that binds us, confining our actions, choices, and dreams. It’s a relentless force that pulls us away from our true selves, urging us to seek validation from others in hopes of being seen, heard, and valued. Yet, no external approval can fill the space; only our acceptance of ourselves can genuinely fill it. Your worth cannot be granted or taken away by others; it is the light within you, a gift that shines without condition. When you embrace this truth, you see that your value has always been untouched, radiant, and innate.

It’s time to release the need for approval and step into the liberating power of self-acceptance. Polish the diamond within and let it shine effortlessly, knowing its brilliance has never depended on the gaze of others. In this space, you will find that you are more than enough, just as you are. This is not a surrender but a reclaiming of your power, a declaration of your worth.

When we let go of the need for approval, we reclaim our power to define our worth. We realise that the opinions of others are just that, their opinions; they do not shape our values unless we allow them to. This shift in perspective empowers us to live authentically, express ourselves freely, and pursue our passions without creating the fear of judgment. “I am enough, just as I am,” becomes our guiding affirmation, grounding us in the truth of our inherent worth.

This journey begins with a simple yet profound understanding: the only approval we genuinely need is our own. When we seek validation from others, we give away our power, tethering our sense of self-worth to the fluctuating opinions of those around us. We become prisoners to their expectations, bending and contorting ourselves to fit the moulds they’ve cast. But these moulds were never meant for us; no matter how much we try, they will never feel like home.

Releasing the need for approval doesn’t mean we stop caring about or becoming indifferent to others. It means we no longer depend on their validation to feel whole. We become the source of our encouragement and support. We learn to trust our intuition, honour our choices, and be at peace with who we are, flaws and all. This is where true freedom lies, allowing us to be ourselves unapologetically and without restraint.

In this space of self-acceptance, we find the courage to say “no!” to what doesn’t serve us and “yes!” to what nourishes our spirit. We step away from the exhausting dance of trying to please everyone and start living in alignment with our truth. As we do, we attract people and opportunities that resonate with our authentic selves, creating a life that reflects our deepest desires and values.

Imagine the relief of no longer needing to mould yourself to fit someone else’s expectations. Imagine the joy of embracing your quirks, your passions, and your unique way of being. This is the gift of self-acceptance. It’s a journey back to yourself, where you discover that you have always been worthy and enough. Embracing your uniqueness is not just a relief; it’s a celebration and a joyous affirmation of your individuality.

So, take a deep breath and release the need for approval. Embrace the beauty of your voice, your path. Stand tall in your truth, and let the world see the real you. “I am my source of validation and love,” you remind yourself as you step boldly into the light of your authenticity. You will find peace and freedom in this place of inner strength, a liberty that no external approval could ever bring.

The Magic of the Mid-Autumn Festival

You may have noticed these tiny, intricate pastries in the shops lately, their golden crust etched with beautiful designs. They are mooncakes and carry a story of love, reunion, and an age-old festival that continues to light up the hearts of millions across Asia—the Mid-Autumn Festival. So, if you’re curious, let me guide you through this enchanting celebration.

A Festival Illuminated by Tradition

The Mid-Autumn Festival, or Moon Festival, Zhōngqiū Jié, is a cherished tradition that brings a soft, shimmering glow to the Chinese autumn sky. It falls on the 15th day of the eighth lunar month when the moon is at its fullest and brightest. Under this luminous orb, families gather to feast and find comfort in togetherness. The radiant and whole moon symbolises reunion, reminding us of those we cherish, even across distances. It is a celebration of love that transcends the mere physical—a spiritual embrace.

Legends and History

The roots of this festival stretch back over 3,000 years, beginning as a humble tribute to the harvest and the moon's silent grandeur. Amidst these timeless customs, the legend of Chang’e rises. The Moon Goddess who ascended to the heavens, her story speaks of devotion and longing, her gaze eternally fixed on Earth. This sense of yearning and love gives the festival its tender beauty, that unspoken promise of connection, no matter how far.

Mooncakes and Lanterns: Symbols of Unity

Central to the festivities is the mooncake. Round as the moon itself, each cake represents completeness, unity, and the sweetness of reunion. When families break open a mooncake, they aren’t just enjoying a decadent pastry filled with lotus seed paste or salted egg yolk; they are sharing a wish for togetherness, savouring the warmth of family ties. Lanterns, too, play their part, glowing in every shape and hue, carrying hopes for prosperity, lighting up not just the streets but the dreams of all those who wander beneath them.

Picture the scene: children laughing as they parade their glowing lanterns, older people sipping tea as mooncake fragrances fill the evening air, faces upturned towards the moon, that celestial beacon that unites us all. It is a night of magic that reminds us of the quiet power of simply being together.

A Celebration Across Cultures

This spirit of the Mid-Autumn Festival is shared across Asia, from Vietnam's vibrant, joyful lantern parades to Japan's reflective, moon-gazing rituals. Each culture adds colour to this intricate tapestry, honouring nature’s cycles and the timeless family bond.

Finding Meaning Under the Full Moon

As you gaze upon the moon tonight, perhaps with a mooncake in hand, let it be a gentle reminder to pause. Reflect on the beauty of life’s natural rhythms, the glow of connection that sustains us, and the constancy of love that, like the moon, may sometimes wax and wane but never truly disappears. With its soft lantern light and golden mooncakes, the Mid-Autumn Festival invites us to cherish these reunion moments and find magic in being present with those we love.

Moments of Inspiration…

"I am complete within myself, finding strength in the love that flows from me. I celebrate my uniqueness, knowing I need no external validation to feel whole. Love blooms from within, and as I honour my spirit, I naturally draw warmth, unity, and light into my life. I am always enough."

In the next free journal…

Strength in sensitivity - Savoring your unique journey - The importance of red in China.

And in this week's paid Journal…

Guiding the Inner Child beyond Fear and Limitation - Part three of the I Ching. Plus, a complete original commentary of one of the Hexagrams and more personal photographs of the Wu Dang mountains.

Journal #F002 28/10/2014