The Softness of Humility: A Path to True Strength

In this week's Journal, discover how bending like bamboo unveils humility’s power, guiding us into the Tao, where each change becomes a path of renewal.

Jan 20, 2025

Humility is often misunderstood. In a world that prizes dominance and outward displays of power, humility is frequently seen as a weakness. A trait that invites others to take advantage of us or dismiss our contributions. This narrow view misses the profound depth of humility as a Taoist virtue, which embodies strength, clarity, and balance.

In this journal post, we will explore humility not as a submission but as a harmonious alignment with the flow of life, or wu wei. When authentically embraced, humility becomes a gateway to a deeper connection with our Shen, our spiritual essence of truth, honesty, and integrity. Rather than diminishing us, humility expands our understanding of self and others, fostering quiet confidence rooted in the authenticity of self-worth and value.

We will also address the counterarguments and misunderstandings surrounding humility:

Does humility mean losing our voice or value in the world?
Can humility coexist with self-confidence and ambition?
How do we balance humility with setting boundaries and standing up for ourselves?

We will discover that true humility is not self-abasement. Instead, the quiet strength allows us to step back, observe, and act from our spiritual wisdom and compassion. In letting go of rigid self-importance, we align more naturally with life’s rhythms, finding personal empowerment and a more profound connection.

Perhaps it’s time to take a fresh look and consider humility a powerful virtue that strengthens our ability to move through life’s challenges with grace and flow. Together, we will redefine humility and its role in nurturing our connection with our unshakable Shen spirit, enabling us to live authentically and purposefully.

The nature of bamboo beautifully embodies the softness of spirit, a metaphor rich in Taoist thought. Bamboo stands tall yet bends gracefully in the wind, resilient to the strongest storms. Its strength lies not in rigidity but in its ability to yield and adapt, always returning to its upright form. As the Tao Te Ching teaches, "The Sage does not contend, and so no one can contend with it." This wisdom reflects humility's calm power and innate strength: it is not about submission but about meeting life’s challenges with flexibility and grace, transforming difficulty into harmony.

When we embrace humility, we become like bamboo, deeply rooted yet flexible. We learn to bend in life’s storms without breaking and to rise again, restored to our authentic selves. To live with this graceful balance, we must also nurture the Inner Child: that childlike part that sees the world in black-and-white extremes and yearns for control and external validation. Because it often confuses humility with weakness or a loss of power, this Inner Child may resist letting go of old, rigid beliefs, fearing that openness and acceptance will leave it exposed or diminished.

As a result, the Inner Child can stubbornly cling to misunderstandings and false narratives, convinced that admitting any misconception will invite CCJ (criticism, comparison, and judgment) from both others and itself. Ironically, this desire to feel strong and safe by never appearing “wrong” reinforces a cycle of insecurity and self-criticism. Yet true humility is not about diminishing our worth; it is about acknowledging that our worth is intrinsic and does not depend on being right or perfect. When we see humility in this light, it becomes a profound form of courage, offering us the freedom to grow, learn, and reconnect with the deep-rooted resilience that has always been ours.

To align with the transformative power of humility, we must first cultivate understanding and harmony with our Inner Child. By addressing its fears, need for reassurance, and longing for praise, approval and specialness, we unlock the capacity to navigate life’s unpredictability with grace and resilience. In doing so, we integrate humility not as surrender but as a skilful, balanced approach to life, an essential tool reflecting our wholeness's authenticity. This harmony between humility and a clear understanding of our principles and boundaries becomes a true win-win that our Inner Child has always craved, fortifying our spirit and deepening our connection with ourselves and the Tao.

The Gift of Self-Compassion

As we see, humility is not merely outward-looking; it nurtures our inner world and becomes a Taoist healing process. Within the “Shen Sanctuary” of loving and safe reflection, we release the heavy burden of always needing to be correct and mindlessly giving authority to external opinion, creating space for genuine self-compassion and understanding. In this state of soft, open-mindedness, we extend to ourselves the kindness we have long sought from others. Through the humility of acknowledging both our strengths and areas of learning, we shift from defensiveness to curiosity. Admitting our missteps without the weight of CCJ becomes an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a source of punishment or shame.

This gift of self-compassion confirms that our worth is not contingent on flawless performance or others’ opinions. It echoes the teachings of the Tao that emphasise inherent value: our Shen, the spirit that resides in each of us, that remains untarnished and radiant even when we err. As we cultivate humility, we replace the voice of judgment with patience and understanding. This is how we embody wu wei, the art of effortless effort, in self-growth. Affirm: "I am gentle with myself as I learn, embracing each step as part of my journey toward wisdom and wholeness."

Embracing the Unknown

A cornerstone of humility is the willingness to embrace the unknown. Stepping into uncertainty can seem daunting in a world that often prizes certainty, control and winning. Yet Taoist wisdom reminds us that actual growth emerges when we surrender the illusion of control and power, placing our trust in life’s natural unfolding. Humility encourages us to meet life’s surprises not as obstacles but as invaluable teachers, offering lessons that lead us to deeper understanding and insight, and we are open and humble enough to learn and grow. It invites us to surf the waves of existence rather than struggle to control them, finding balance in the flow.

This trust in the unfolding of life is not naive optimism but a profound recognition of our place within the universal dance. It is the acknowledgement that, while we are active participants, we are also threads in a fabric far more significant and wiser than ourselves. As the Tao Te Ching reflects, "He who stands on tiptoe is not steady. He who strides cannot maintain the pace. He who tries to shine dims his light." By stepping into the unknown with openness and humility, we release the compulsion to prove or defend. Instead, we embrace the lessons woven into each moment, allowing life’s rhythm and our inner wisdom to guide us.

The journey to humility invites us to release pride and gracefully acknowledge when we do not have all the answers. It calls us to listen with intention (Yi), speak with thoughtfulness, and respond with empathy. In doing so, we align with the Tao, the timeless essence that flows through everything. This is how we navigate life’s twists and turns: not through force but with openness and fluidity. Affirm: "I trust in the wisdom of my journey, embracing the unknown with kindness and compassion." As you see, humility does not silence our voice. Instead, it connects us to our authentic voice grounded in truth, honesty, and integrity.

Rediscovering the Spiritual Path Within

Have you ever paused at a crossroads in life, confident that your future is already carved in stone, that you’ve already travelled too far in one direction to turn back or begin anew? In these tense moments, the voice of the Inner Child might murmur, “It’s too late,” or “It’s too far gone,” or “You’ve made your bed”, casting a shadow over every hope for change. Yet ancient Taoist wisdom reminds us that life is a river, not a stagnant pool; its current is forever shifting, adapting, and carving fresh pathways through the landscape of our lives.

When we perceive our path as fixed or preordained, we lose sight of the Tao’s most profound lesson: nothing in this world is permanent. Each step you take, and each decision you embrace carries the possibility of transformation and renewal. Rather than envisioning growth as a tidy, upward climb, imagine it as a spiral that circles back on itself, revisiting old themes with fresh eyes and deeper understanding. Of course, doubts may arise: “Is it possible to course-correct in life’s many constraints? Aren’t some doors closed forever?” These questions deserve a space in our minds and hearts. They reflect a natural resistance that we’ll explore and resolve as we continue on this journey together, discovering that even in our most hesitant moments, there is a quiet, unstoppable force within us, patiently waiting for our invitation to flow.

“Yesterday’s steps do not bind me; I am free to change, and in that change, I become new.” These words resonate with a profound truth: transformation is always possible when we become open to all possibilities and embrace our capacity to flow like water, seeking new courses even when obstacles arise.

The Path Is Never Fixed

In Taoism, the universe is seen as a vast, ever-evolving reality of the unknown, a truth beautifully reflected in Hexagram 50 of the I Ching, Ding—the Cauldron. This ancient symbol illustrates how our daily experiences, both the joys and the sorrows, fuel transformation. Just as a cauldron relies on its heated contents to nourish and sustain, our trials and triumphs become the fires beneath our personal growth, drawing us deeper into alignment with the Tao. Yet some might wonder: “How can a symbol from centuries past remain relevant in a modern world racing ahead at breakneck speed?” Much like the cauldron’s steady flame, the answer lies in our capacity to consciously tend our inner spark one choice, one reflection at a time.

The teachings remind us that change is not an inconvenient detour; it is the very essence of our path. No matter how small, every decision becomes a stepping stone toward discovering who we truly are. The Tao Te Ching gently reassures us: “The soft and yielding overcome the hard and unyielding.” Like water carving new shapes in stone, our willingness to adapt and flow creates the courage to meet life’s unpredictability with resilience and grace. Of course, questions often arise: “Is it truly wise to yield so often, especially in an unforgiving world?” These moments of scepticism deserve our attention as they open the door to a deeper conversation on balancing flexibility with strength.

No single choice stands forever to define us. Our lives unfurl in renewal cycles, where periods of rest and reflection pave the way for fresh growth. With each turn of this rhythm of embracing, releasing, and embracing again, we gradually uncover our boundless potential. In truth, every moment presents itself as a gateway to reinvention, a chance to draw closer to the essence of who we are. “Is there a limit to this continual rebirth or a point at which change no longer serves us?” you may ask. These doubts and inquiries are both natural and essential. They provide fertile soil to plant the seeds of transformation as we continue to nurture our journey through understanding the wu wei flow of peace and harmony.

Change as Resilience in Motion

Society often views change with suspicion, labelling it a sign of instability or failure. Yet, from a Taoist perspective, change is a vivid testament to our resilience. Resisting life's natural ebb and flow is akin to grasping at water, believing we can hold it tightly, only to watch it slip through our fingers. We long for a rigid sense of security but risk overlooking the grace and wisdom of continuous transformation in that rigidity.

In truth, there is powerful strength in flexibility that reveals itself through wu wei, the art of effortless effort. Rather than forcing our will upon an ever-shifting world, we learn to lean into its currents and dance with its rhythms. With each rigid belief we set free, we honour life’s cyclical nature and summon the courage to adapt. Inevitably, questions and doubts arise, such as: “Is yielding to change a sign of giving up or losing direction?” On the contrary, it is a profound act of acknowledgement. To change course isn’t to betray our path; it is to walk in step with the Tao, realigning ourselves in harmony with the natural order.

Hexagram 29 of the I Ching, Kan—The Abyss underscores this idea by illustrating how obstacles aren’t fixed roadblocks but opportunities to deepen our understanding. When we face uncertainty and dare to trust in the unknown, we stretch the boundaries of what we believe is possible. Every decision to adapt, every moment of flexibility and renewal, enriches our journey in ways that a rigid, unmoving stance never can. As we learn to let go of our fear of the “abyss,” we discover that the true fallacy is imagining that stillness means security. In reality, only by flowing with life do we remain authentically steady, grounded, and ever closer to our true nature.

Listening to the Spirit: Trusting the Way Forward

The voice of the Inner Child often clings to what’s familiar, desperately seeking safety in the known, even when those old habits or beliefs no longer serve us. Such stubbornness, born from fear, can lock us into patterns of doubt and avoidance. But as we grow in alignment with the Tao, we learn to honour the quiet counsel of our Shen, the eternal Spirit that gently guides us toward our most authentic selves. Some may wonder, “Is it wise to abandon the comfort of our old ways?” In truth, this transformation is less about discarding caution and more about stepping into our reality, no longer letting fear alone dictate our path.

We must embrace uncertainty as a companion rather than a threat to move forward. The Sage within us, rooted in Taoist wisdom, reminds us that every unknown is like a blank canvas brimming with possibility, waiting for us to paint it with bold strokes of courage and self-trust. In choosing to trust this deeper rhythm, we learn not to run from fear but to walk through it, emerging with a renewed sense of purpose. Of course, questions might persist: “What if I stumble? What if I lose my way?” These valid concerns reflect our Inner Child’s protective instincts. Yet, consciously reaching beyond these fears, we cultivate strength of spirit and grow closer to who we truly are.

Rediscovering the path within doesn’t mean discarding the past. Instead, it’s an invitation to integrate every lesson and experience, both joyful and painful, so that each challenge becomes a guidepost leading us back to our Shen, our eternal Spirit. In this way, change is transformed from a gesture of denial into a celebration of life’s boundless possibilities. Naturally, some may ask, “Aren’t we betraying our roots by moving on?” Yet the Tao teaches that valid growth honours where we’ve been while welcoming what we might become.

The Tao Te Ching offers reassurance: “To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” Stillness isn’t passive; it’s the point we see clearly. By surrendering to life’s unfolding rhythms, we tap into an unshakable courage that helps us greet each moment with grace, no matter how unexpected. Of course, hesitation might linger: “If I pause to be still, won’t I fall behind?” But remember, wu wei encourages us to act in harmony with the natural flow, suggesting that genuine stillness often reveals the most effortless and aligned steps forward.

Let us honour the unfolding journey for what it truly is: an ongoing commitment to living authentically. Each deliberate choice shows our resilience; every step forward, no matter how small, is a promise we make to ourselves to keep growing and evolving. By welcoming the Tao’s wisdom into our hearts and minds, we awaken to our capacity for continual renewal, realising we are forever changing and endlessly capable of rediscovering who we genuinely are, choosing to walk our unique path without CCJ.

Embracing Change, Embracing Life

We find alignment with the Tao when we release the fear of the unknown and trust our more profound wisdom. Rather than avoiding uncertainty, we can learn to see it as a sacred invitation to flourish. Affirm: “I am the author of my journey, and I embrace each change as a step toward my truest self.”

The Emotional Symphony

Have you ever been overwhelmed by your emotions, as if caught in a storm with no safe harbour in sight? Do moments of joy or sorrow sometimes seem like unruly guests arriving uninvited and staying longer than you’d like? These experiences remind us that emotions are not random intruders but deeply meaningful messengers, carrying invitations to listen more intently to the symphony within.

Much like an orchestra's instruments, our emotions might seem chaotic when unaligned, yet each holds a vital note in the grand harmony of life. Anger beats like the steady rhythm of a drum; sadness hums with the soulful tones of a cello; joy crescendos like the soaring voice of a flute. Together, they create a melody that is uniquely ours.

Conductor or Composer?

When we embrace this ensemble of feelings, do we step into the role of conductor, or are we the composer? The conductor follows the music already written, guiding the orchestra with precision but bound by the constraints of the existing score. The composer ventures into uncharted realms, shaping new melodies reflecting their profound truths and intentions. To compose is to create from the essence of who we are, able to craft a manuscript infused with Taoist wisdom and wu wei principles, where the notes flow effortlessly, born of alignment and authenticity.

Consider this: as composers, we write the score the conductor within us will guide. With this act of creation, we choose a rhythm that speaks to the harmony of our spirit, allowing our emotions to play their part without dominating the symphony. It is a delicate balance between creation and execution, spontaneity and order.

So, which role will you claim? Is it better to guide the orchestra of our emotions as a faithful conductor or to step boldly into the role of composer, creating a new symphony entirely? What music will you bring into the world? And perhaps more importantly, what symphony do you want to listen to?

Understanding Emotions: Composers of Our Inner World

Emotions do not descend upon us from nowhere; they are created by our thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations of life’s events. The Tao Te Ching reminds us, “The soft overcomes the hard; the gentle overcomes the rigid” Verse 78. This wisdom gently teaches us to experience our emotions with understanding, allowing their energy to flow rather than resist.

Instead of perceiving emotions as obstacles, we can see them as allies, notes in a symphony, and carriers of wisdom from the depths of our being. Anger may signal a boundary crossed, while sadness may call for reflection or release. Fear, often unwelcome, can guide us to uncover hidden perceived vulnerabilities that yearn for compassion. When we view emotions this way, we reclaim our role as creators of our emotional experience, transforming victimhood into empowerment.

Picture a stream flowing through a valley. When met with rocks, it does not rage against them but adapts, carving new pathways with quiet persistence. In the same way, we can observe our emotions without judgment, letting them move through us naturally and making space for clarity, peace and deeper introspection on our creation.

Observing Without Judgment: The Taoist Path to Harmony

When negative emotions or the wrong ‘notes’ arise, our instinct might be to ignore, suppress, or let them take control. Yet those responses lead to disconnection, and the issues persist. Taoist wisdom encourages us to view our emotions as a Sage would: attentive but unattached, curious but not controlled, and above all, accountable that our emotions or the notes of our masterpiece reflect our true spiritual nature.

This practice begins with a pause. In the stillness of that moment, we create space to ask, “What belief or thought is creating this feeling?” For example, fear often stems from a belief in inadequacy or a need for certainty. Identifying these roots empowers us to address the source rather than battling the symptoms.

The Taoist classic I Ching offers wisdom on this balance through Hexagram 11, Peace: “When heaven and earth unite, the small departs, and the great arrives.” This union reflects our inner equilibrium when we release the need to control or judge our emotions. Instead of resisting, we observe, allowing the natural flow of life to reveal the wisdom hidden within our feelings. Then, we can rewrite or hold on to the same notes or beliefs.

The Inner Child: A Gentle Composer or Conductor Within

At the heart of our emotional experiences lies the Inner Child, that young yet fiercely guarded part of us shaped by early betrayals and disappointments. Seemingly wounded by unmet expectations, our Inner Child has grown sceptical, mistrustful, and convinced that it knows the safest way forward. It clings tightly to the narratives formed long ago: “I am not good enough” or “I must earn love by pleasing others.” Though crafted to shield us, these stories have become the familiar foundations of a logic that once offered protection but now has become a prison.

In our orchestra metaphor, the Inner Child believes it must compose, conduct, and play every instrument, insisting that no one else can be trusted to hold the rhythm or stay in tune. Its intentions are not malicious. They stem from a deep vulnerability, a desire to control and avoid harm at all costs. Yet this self-protection, born from the emotion of fear, prevents the symphony from flowing freely. The music becomes stifled, each note shaped more by control than by harmony, more by survival than joy.

To reconnect with our Inner Child is to invite it to step back from its solitary post, gently show it that there is beauty in trusting others, and allow the more fabulous orchestra of life to play its part. It is not about silencing the Inner Child’s voice but helping it see that it doesn’t have to carry the entire burden of creation alone. Through compassion and patience, we can guide this part of ourselves to move from fear-driven control to collaborative trust, letting the symphony of our emotions unfold with authenticity and grace.

The first step is reconnecting with our Inner Child, which requires compassion and patience. Imagine whispering to this part of yourself: “I see you. I understand your fears. Together, we will explore the unknown with courage.” By embracing our Inner Child’s innocence and misunderstandings, we begin the reparenting process, offering the guidance and love we once needed but may not have received.

This gentle, loving approach invites the Inner Child to step away from fear-based reactions and into the trusting flow of wu wei. Through this process, we learn to honour our feelings without becoming overwhelmed. But more importantly, we begin a sacred partnership and trust within ourselves, building a harmonious relationship that has been ignored for far too long.

Wu Wei: Flowing with Life’s Emotional Rhythms

Wu wei, the Taoist principle of non-resistance, teaches us to flow with life’s rhythms instead of struggling against them. It is not passivity but a dynamic alignment with the natural currents of existence. When applied to emotions, wu wei transforms our relationship with feelings from resistance to genuine interest and acceptance.

Consider the way nature responds to a storm. The trees do not resist the wind; they bend and sway, trusting their roots to hold them steady. Similarly, we can flexibly meet our emotional storms, knowing that every feeling is temporary, no matter how strong. “This too shall pass” affirms life’s ever-changing flow, offering comfort even in the most challenging times.

Through the practice of wu wei, we learn that harmony is not the absence of struggle but the ability to move together with life’s ebbs and flows. By aligning with this natural rhythm, we find that even our deepest fears and sorrows have a place in the diversity of our lives.

Moments of Inspiration…

Hello, members!

Thank you for your patience and support as I continue to recover from my health issues. As a newcomer to the Substack app, I’m excited to explore its features and create a truly valuable space for our community.

Writing the free weekly journal posts and exclusive “Inner Circle” for paid subscribers has genuinely helped my recovery. If you’re an Inner Circle member, I’ve discovered that downloading the Substack app lets us chat in real-time. I will answer your questions about the journal posts and Wu Wei Wisdom teachings. I’m also planning to create a podcast exclusively for “Inner Circle” subscribers soon and explore other fun ways for us to learn together.

If any of you have more experience with the Substack app or creative ideas for our community, please share! Perhaps a monthly live meditation session or a Zoom Q&A for the Inner Circle? Let’s co-create our “Shen Sanctuary,” a supportive space where we can grow together on this journey.

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In the next ‘Inner Circle’ (Paid) Journal…

An exclusive Tao Te Ching Verse and Commentary from my upcoming book
The Sage says, "Embrace your Inner Treasure."
Unleashing Your Potential
Moments of Inspiration

In the next free Journal…

Un-Forgiveness - The Chains That Bind Us.
Breaking Free from the Carousel of Despair.
The Responsibility of Discovering Your Purpose
Moments of Inspiration

Journal #F012 20/01/2025